What Year Is This?
There is a lot going on this week - and I promise that Tragic Laughter has some stuff in the works that I'm pretty excited about. On April 4th two important things will happen, one will be a comic masterpiece that will hopefully elevate someone who deserves a lot more credit for being a talented comedian to the next level, and the other is "Leatherheads". The first thing for those wondering at home is the premiere of Robert Kelly's new Comedy Central Presents, but we'll have more on that this week so stay tuned to Tragic Laughter for that.
In the meantime I want to talk about "Leatherheads" because every time I see Renee Zellweger's stupid pucker face on my television I want to head to the basement and cauterize my eyes shut so as to never have to see her squintey face looking at me again. Can someone please explain to me what the premise behind "Leatherheads" is? From what I gather it's a movie about a rag tag group of football players led by George Clooney in 1925 who are torn apart by competing desires for a strong independent minded female sports reporter played by the bizarely offensive to look at Renee Zellweger.
The movie seems as if George and Co. went through great lengths to get the costumes, stadiums and attitude of early football correct. Which leads me to wonder -- if you're going to go through great pains to get most of this movie historically accurate why would you throw the entire premise out the window and try to make a romantic comedy involving a female sports reporter? You might as well have Clooney drive around in a Porsche, or the team travel by private jet. In 1925 women were not allowed out of the house without a hat on, and I'm supposed to believe that this pasty bitch is mixing it up with the football players?
In case you're wondering - the first female reporter to cover professional football was Lesley Visser in 1976, or 50 years after the events of "Leatherheads" takes place. So basically while this cutesy movie wants us to believe that Renee Zellweger and her bitter beer face would have been trading witty banter with George Clooney and Jim from The Office, had this movie wanted to be really historically accurate, the moment she walked up to ask a question about the game Jim would slap her in the face for being an uppity bitch, while George pulled his balls out and asked her for a post game rub down. All the guys would have laughed, she would blush and then get on her knees and do her womanly duties.
But no, we live in a politically correct world where there can't be a movie made without a strong, sassy female lead. I wouldn't be surprised if this movie ends with Zellweger throwing on a pair of shorts and one of those leather helmets and scoring the winning touchdown before blowing off both of the strong football players for the nerdy class president. Sure, in a historically accurate 1925 period piece she would be passed around the locker room like a bottle of Jim Beam and then shunned by all of society. But that wouldn't make for a very good poster, at least not at the movie theaters that women and children attend.
Of course to complete the fantasy the "Leatherheads" team also features - wait for it - a black gentleman. I haven't seen him utter one line of dialogue in the previews but I think we all know where this one is going. He's the most athletic guy on the team, he's a lover of blues, and most of the other teams have a problem with him being out there, but George sticks up for him and he won't play without him. Again, lets try to keep into perspective that this movie hypothetically takes place in 1925, so the black football player in South Carolina (where the movie was filmed) would have shown up for practice, been issued his pads, and been hung over the goal post all before the team was done with their warm up stretches. But in this movie I'm sure he spends a good deal of time riding with the rest of the team on the bus, eating with them in the middle of a restaurant and singing some bluegrass with George Clooney to try and impress the strong, sensitive, independent sports reporter played that pale, sour puss looking bitch in the hat.
I think what I'm trying to say is this -- if you're sitting around on April 4th with fifteen bucks in your pocket, stay home - do not support this bullshit being pawned off as a comedy. Instead, turn on Comedy Central, watch Robert Kelly, and then use the money you saved to purchase his comedy cd "Just The Tip" which comes out on April 8th. I guarantee that you'll laugh harder and enjoy yourself much more then you would listening to that insufferable "sports reporter" tell a group of grown men in 1925 how to impress a lady. When a true historical period piece would show her father selling her away to the guy who owned the most land, and scene.
In the meantime I want to talk about "Leatherheads" because every time I see Renee Zellweger's stupid pucker face on my television I want to head to the basement and cauterize my eyes shut so as to never have to see her squintey face looking at me again. Can someone please explain to me what the premise behind "Leatherheads" is? From what I gather it's a movie about a rag tag group of football players led by George Clooney in 1925 who are torn apart by competing desires for a strong independent minded female sports reporter played by the bizarely offensive to look at Renee Zellweger.
The movie seems as if George and Co. went through great lengths to get the costumes, stadiums and attitude of early football correct. Which leads me to wonder -- if you're going to go through great pains to get most of this movie historically accurate why would you throw the entire premise out the window and try to make a romantic comedy involving a female sports reporter? You might as well have Clooney drive around in a Porsche, or the team travel by private jet. In 1925 women were not allowed out of the house without a hat on, and I'm supposed to believe that this pasty bitch is mixing it up with the football players?
In case you're wondering - the first female reporter to cover professional football was Lesley Visser in 1976, or 50 years after the events of "Leatherheads" takes place. So basically while this cutesy movie wants us to believe that Renee Zellweger and her bitter beer face would have been trading witty banter with George Clooney and Jim from The Office, had this movie wanted to be really historically accurate, the moment she walked up to ask a question about the game Jim would slap her in the face for being an uppity bitch, while George pulled his balls out and asked her for a post game rub down. All the guys would have laughed, she would blush and then get on her knees and do her womanly duties.
But no, we live in a politically correct world where there can't be a movie made without a strong, sassy female lead. I wouldn't be surprised if this movie ends with Zellweger throwing on a pair of shorts and one of those leather helmets and scoring the winning touchdown before blowing off both of the strong football players for the nerdy class president. Sure, in a historically accurate 1925 period piece she would be passed around the locker room like a bottle of Jim Beam and then shunned by all of society. But that wouldn't make for a very good poster, at least not at the movie theaters that women and children attend.
Of course to complete the fantasy the "Leatherheads" team also features - wait for it - a black gentleman. I haven't seen him utter one line of dialogue in the previews but I think we all know where this one is going. He's the most athletic guy on the team, he's a lover of blues, and most of the other teams have a problem with him being out there, but George sticks up for him and he won't play without him. Again, lets try to keep into perspective that this movie hypothetically takes place in 1925, so the black football player in South Carolina (where the movie was filmed) would have shown up for practice, been issued his pads, and been hung over the goal post all before the team was done with their warm up stretches. But in this movie I'm sure he spends a good deal of time riding with the rest of the team on the bus, eating with them in the middle of a restaurant and singing some bluegrass with George Clooney to try and impress the strong, sensitive, independent sports reporter played that pale, sour puss looking bitch in the hat.
I think what I'm trying to say is this -- if you're sitting around on April 4th with fifteen bucks in your pocket, stay home - do not support this bullshit being pawned off as a comedy. Instead, turn on Comedy Central, watch Robert Kelly, and then use the money you saved to purchase his comedy cd "Just The Tip" which comes out on April 8th. I guarantee that you'll laugh harder and enjoy yourself much more then you would listening to that insufferable "sports reporter" tell a group of grown men in 1925 how to impress a lady. When a true historical period piece would show her father selling her away to the guy who owned the most land, and scene.
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