Tragic Talk: D.C.
When Tragic Laughter brings you interviews with Doug Stanhope, or Nick Di Paolo we're giving you the chance to hear uncomfortable responses to terrible questions from headlining acts. When we interviewed Patrick Milligan it was a chance to hear from someone running a site that is just like this one, only good. However, the third prong of the Tragic Laughter manifesto is geared towards bringing you access to comedians who you otherwise might miss. In this instance I'm really excited to bring you our first non East Coast based comedian, D.C.
It is safe to say that D.C. is probably the most popular open micer in the Seattle area, sharing his name with a shoe company. It's also safe to say that the videos that you'll find of his sets on his myspace pageare funnier then a lot of "name" comedians, if you don't believe me just check them out - I promise you won't regret it. Well you might regret it, but you'll laugh. Furthermore, D.C. is an active contributor to the Tragic Laughter community, as he appears in the forums, and we stay in touch through these interwebs. It's safe to say that I'm hoping D.C. brings me along when he becomes famous, or infamous -- either way I'm sure there will be hookers, strippers, and midgets (potentially all in one tiny drug riddled body). With that tremendous introduction I'd hope you all read up on our friend D.C. and then swing through his myspace page and tell him how you feel about him.
TL: You’ve been very open about a tragic subject for you so I’ll try to be gentle. Who inspired you to get into comedy?
D.C: I will never live this down, but Dane Cook was the man that made me want to get on stage and do comedy. I, much like the rest of comedy ignorant America jumped on the "DANE TRAIN". It only took me a few years of immersing myself into the comedy world to realize that he was a complete hack who relied on his ability to pronounce words like "sandwich" in a quirky way. Having Dane Cook be the person that got me into comedy is like an altar boy who looks up to his priest, and one day wants to be a priest himself. One day the altar boy realizes that sucking all that catholic dick did not make him a priest it made him a faggot. So much like the priest made the young altar boy realize that he did not give a fuck about being a priest, he just liked a cock in his mouth. Dane Cook made me realize that I don't give a fuck about being a mainstream hack as long as I get to be on stage and tell people how I fisted an amish/retarded girl.
TL: What was the thought process going in? Did you just wake up one afternoon and decide you had a post op tranny joke that had to be told? How many times have you been on stage?
D.C: I woke up the afternoon of the show with a hangover and forgot where I put my notebook with my material for the evening in it. So I scribbled down some notes on the time I went to vegas and had sex with this random chick that just seemed to good to be true. It just so happened my friend Megan was in town and she is 6 feet tall with fake boobs so I decided to bring her on stage acting like she was the tranny. As far as stage time goes I have had a total of 60 minutes in 8 different shows, mostly open mics. I have had a few paying gigs as an emcee for some private events in the area, but no real paying comedy stage time.
TL: You’re from Seattle – what is the comedy scene like up there?
D.C: The comedy scene in Seattle seems very saturated with trendy, hip, family friendly, politically correct humor. I am more of a shock type of guy. I like to explore the boudaries of "freedom of speech". I think it is bullshit when you walk into a club and you are forbidden from saying certain words. I did a couple of open mics where they said I could say anything, but "CUNT" So I started my set with "I was fist-fucking this Amish chick, at least I think she was Amish? Everytime I turned the lights on or my Ipod switched songs she acted like it was the first time she had ever seen electricity. Come to think of it she may have just been retarded. You can say what you like about retards, but they can suck a mean dick." I think "CUNT" would have been less offensive
TL: You’re doing an open mic in Seattle, is the kid on stage before you some Cardigan wearing douche that should just smoke a cigarette and then blow his brains out after the show? Or a better formed question – what is the typical lineup when you perform?
D.C: Usually we have between 20-25 comics of those 10 or so are regular working comics and the rest are newbies like me, but I still usually headline the open mic because I always bring about 80-90 people to each show.
TL: What has been your reception from the crowds when you’ve taken the stage?
D.C: Recently after my Amish/Retard set I had 2 people get up and leave, but for the most part I usually bring my own audience, so they had better like me or they just wasted 5 bucks!
TL: Along with working on your comedy you’re also featured on checkitoutmusic. com what’s that all about? And I realize this question just sent douche shivers down your spine but deal with it.
D.C: Checkitoumusic. com is a place for music fans to document their music experience and everything tn between. The founders realized half the fun of going to a concert was all the funny shit that happens in pursuit of it or afterwards. I am the resident comedian, so I guess I just try to keep it updated with my hatred of humanity!
TL: Have you found people who are fans of your writing coming out to your shows?
D.C: I have found homeless people who I pay to show up usually comprise my audience, but there are a few DC GROUPIES floating around!
TL: Let me put my Byron Allen hat on for a second – so I heard you had an incident with craigslist what happened there?
D.C: I had a poor lonely soul assume that it would serve his interests best to repair his bruised ego by posting a gay personal on CRAIGSLIST for me. The ad was poorly written and did not include a photo of my cock, definite signs of a fraudulent post. I later discovered the identity of the individual and have a special surprise waiting for him...
TL: Here’s a better Byron question – so I heard there was something with Linkin Park and Bubba the Love Sponge, what happened there?
D.C: I recently wrote a review for checkitoutmusic. com on newest Linkin Park hit single "Shadow of a day". A day or so after it was posted on my Myspace I received a message from a lady saying she was his assistant and she wanted to know if I would like to read my review on-air. I replied "of course" and have not heard back from them yet.
TL: I probably gave myself too much credit there. Byron would have said – craigslist and then paused like a fuckin idiot. Can you possibly explain how that Comics Unleashed show is on every channel after midnight?
D.C: The same way I still get pussy: Lowered standards and word of mouth!
TL: Your comedy is a bit – let’s call it raw for lack of better terms – who are some of your comedy heroes and idols taking into account that you’re already guilty of being inspired by Dane Cook?
D.C: My comedy is a lot raw! My real comedy heroes are Doug Stanhope, Ari Shaffir, Jim Norton, Andy Andrist, and the late Bill Hicks! Dane Cook did help me realize that it does not matter how funny you are as long as you draw a crowd so it was not a complete loss!
TL: Where do you hope this all leads for you? Basically will I be able to get an invite to fly out to see your HBO Special someday or should we just keep emailing homoerotic messages to one another on myspace?
D.C: I hope it leads me to a chance to be one of "The Unbookables", but I would settle for some decent coin and a fistfull of 18 year old hookers. As far as our homoerotic messages I suspect they will continue until I get that restraining order thing taken care of. And of course you will be flying out to see my HBO special as long as you stay within the court-appointed distance from one another!
TL: As the official West Coast link for the Tragic Kingdom – what is happening out there that we’re missing on the East Coast?
D.C: You are missing out on some great emerging comics: Rodger Lizaola, Andy Haynes, Andy Peters, Billy Wayne Davis, and my newest favorite Andrew Oullette... That is a whole lot of Andys' you are missing out on!
TL: And finally – after making you wait a full week to send you these questions on a scale of the dumbest questions ever to making you want to asphyxiate yourself with an umbilical chord, how horrible was this interview?
D.C: Great interview. I have had bowel movements more painful than this and much more invasive as well.
Next time maybe I can interview you!
It is safe to say that D.C. is probably the most popular open micer in the Seattle area, sharing his name with a shoe company. It's also safe to say that the videos that you'll find of his sets on his myspace pageare funnier then a lot of "name" comedians, if you don't believe me just check them out - I promise you won't regret it. Well you might regret it, but you'll laugh. Furthermore, D.C. is an active contributor to the Tragic Laughter community, as he appears in the forums, and we stay in touch through these interwebs. It's safe to say that I'm hoping D.C. brings me along when he becomes famous, or infamous -- either way I'm sure there will be hookers, strippers, and midgets (potentially all in one tiny drug riddled body). With that tremendous introduction I'd hope you all read up on our friend D.C. and then swing through his myspace page and tell him how you feel about him.
TL: You’ve been very open about a tragic subject for you so I’ll try to be gentle. Who inspired you to get into comedy?
D.C: I will never live this down, but Dane Cook was the man that made me want to get on stage and do comedy. I, much like the rest of comedy ignorant America jumped on the "DANE TRAIN". It only took me a few years of immersing myself into the comedy world to realize that he was a complete hack who relied on his ability to pronounce words like "sandwich" in a quirky way. Having Dane Cook be the person that got me into comedy is like an altar boy who looks up to his priest, and one day wants to be a priest himself. One day the altar boy realizes that sucking all that catholic dick did not make him a priest it made him a faggot. So much like the priest made the young altar boy realize that he did not give a fuck about being a priest, he just liked a cock in his mouth. Dane Cook made me realize that I don't give a fuck about being a mainstream hack as long as I get to be on stage and tell people how I fisted an amish/retarded girl.
TL: What was the thought process going in? Did you just wake up one afternoon and decide you had a post op tranny joke that had to be told? How many times have you been on stage?
D.C: I woke up the afternoon of the show with a hangover and forgot where I put my notebook with my material for the evening in it. So I scribbled down some notes on the time I went to vegas and had sex with this random chick that just seemed to good to be true. It just so happened my friend Megan was in town and she is 6 feet tall with fake boobs so I decided to bring her on stage acting like she was the tranny. As far as stage time goes I have had a total of 60 minutes in 8 different shows, mostly open mics. I have had a few paying gigs as an emcee for some private events in the area, but no real paying comedy stage time.
TL: You’re from Seattle – what is the comedy scene like up there?
D.C: The comedy scene in Seattle seems very saturated with trendy, hip, family friendly, politically correct humor. I am more of a shock type of guy. I like to explore the boudaries of "freedom of speech". I think it is bullshit when you walk into a club and you are forbidden from saying certain words. I did a couple of open mics where they said I could say anything, but "CUNT" So I started my set with "I was fist-fucking this Amish chick, at least I think she was Amish? Everytime I turned the lights on or my Ipod switched songs she acted like it was the first time she had ever seen electricity. Come to think of it she may have just been retarded. You can say what you like about retards, but they can suck a mean dick." I think "CUNT" would have been less offensive
TL: You’re doing an open mic in Seattle, is the kid on stage before you some Cardigan wearing douche that should just smoke a cigarette and then blow his brains out after the show? Or a better formed question – what is the typical lineup when you perform?
D.C: Usually we have between 20-25 comics of those 10 or so are regular working comics and the rest are newbies like me, but I still usually headline the open mic because I always bring about 80-90 people to each show.
TL: What has been your reception from the crowds when you’ve taken the stage?
D.C: Recently after my Amish/Retard set I had 2 people get up and leave, but for the most part I usually bring my own audience, so they had better like me or they just wasted 5 bucks!
TL: Along with working on your comedy you’re also featured on checkitoutmusic. com what’s that all about? And I realize this question just sent douche shivers down your spine but deal with it.
D.C: Checkitoumusic. com is a place for music fans to document their music experience and everything tn between. The founders realized half the fun of going to a concert was all the funny shit that happens in pursuit of it or afterwards. I am the resident comedian, so I guess I just try to keep it updated with my hatred of humanity!
TL: Have you found people who are fans of your writing coming out to your shows?
D.C: I have found homeless people who I pay to show up usually comprise my audience, but there are a few DC GROUPIES floating around!
TL: Let me put my Byron Allen hat on for a second – so I heard you had an incident with craigslist what happened there?
D.C: I had a poor lonely soul assume that it would serve his interests best to repair his bruised ego by posting a gay personal on CRAIGSLIST for me. The ad was poorly written and did not include a photo of my cock, definite signs of a fraudulent post. I later discovered the identity of the individual and have a special surprise waiting for him...
TL: Here’s a better Byron question – so I heard there was something with Linkin Park and Bubba the Love Sponge, what happened there?
D.C: I recently wrote a review for checkitoutmusic. com on newest Linkin Park hit single "Shadow of a day". A day or so after it was posted on my Myspace I received a message from a lady saying she was his assistant and she wanted to know if I would like to read my review on-air. I replied "of course" and have not heard back from them yet.
TL: I probably gave myself too much credit there. Byron would have said – craigslist and then paused like a fuckin idiot. Can you possibly explain how that Comics Unleashed show is on every channel after midnight?
D.C: The same way I still get pussy: Lowered standards and word of mouth!
TL: Your comedy is a bit – let’s call it raw for lack of better terms – who are some of your comedy heroes and idols taking into account that you’re already guilty of being inspired by Dane Cook?
D.C: My comedy is a lot raw! My real comedy heroes are Doug Stanhope, Ari Shaffir, Jim Norton, Andy Andrist, and the late Bill Hicks! Dane Cook did help me realize that it does not matter how funny you are as long as you draw a crowd so it was not a complete loss!
TL: Where do you hope this all leads for you? Basically will I be able to get an invite to fly out to see your HBO Special someday or should we just keep emailing homoerotic messages to one another on myspace?
D.C: I hope it leads me to a chance to be one of "The Unbookables", but I would settle for some decent coin and a fistfull of 18 year old hookers. As far as our homoerotic messages I suspect they will continue until I get that restraining order thing taken care of. And of course you will be flying out to see my HBO special as long as you stay within the court-appointed distance from one another!
TL: As the official West Coast link for the Tragic Kingdom – what is happening out there that we’re missing on the East Coast?
D.C: You are missing out on some great emerging comics: Rodger Lizaola, Andy Haynes, Andy Peters, Billy Wayne Davis, and my newest favorite Andrew Oullette... That is a whole lot of Andys' you are missing out on!
TL: And finally – after making you wait a full week to send you these questions on a scale of the dumbest questions ever to making you want to asphyxiate yourself with an umbilical chord, how horrible was this interview?
D.C: Great interview. I have had bowel movements more painful than this and much more invasive as well.
Next time maybe I can interview you!
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